The value of common approaches to life
A human value can be included into the list of family values in case it serves the creation, maintenance and development of family relations. Each person has his/her own set of principles, views, ideals and values. Many men, many minds. It is very difficult to find at least two persons with similar views. Similarity of views is usually a guarantee of solid friendship, good fellowship and united family. However, there are people, who argue that everything is to the contrary. They motivate their point of view by the famous utterance that extremes meet. This phrase was borrowed form physics and was extrapolated to interpersonal relations by psychologists. This principle works in some situations, though we must admit that in case two absolutely different people meet, they are doomed to break-up. If we talk about a firm and lifelong family relationship, it is possible only if two spouses stick to similar principles of life. If two persons think identically they are likely to avoid many troubles in their family life. There is always a necessity to discuss family issues, to make up serious and responsible decisions and if spouses are totally different people, they will quarrel all the time and have it out. These families have little chances to preserve their unity.
The value of common approaches to life is extremely topical when it comes to upbringing of children. Parents must always stick to the same methods of punishment and appreciation, they must behave similarly in various situations. When, for example, father wants to punish his son for some fault, mother begins to protect her child from father's anger. Such discrepancy in methods of upbringing is very dangerous and can cause harm for both family unity and children's breeding. If a child knows that one of its parents plays a role of a rear from the other parent, it begins to cash in it.
The value of common approaches to life is also closely connected with religion. If one spouse follows some religion and another spouse is either irreligious or follows another religion, mutual understanding and respect is hardly possible in such a family. Life experience shows that people with different religious views can't coexist peacefully. The matter is that religion determines not only fundamental bases of person's views, but it also affects everyday life a religious person. That is why in the majority of cases the incongruity of views and values make family life unbearable and prolonged existence of a family impossible.
The question is how absolutely different people can decide to marry and create a family despite their disagreement in many points. Love makes people blind and thoughtless. It engenders illusions. Many people think that if they love each other, all their differences in views are mere trifles which are nothing on the background of their sacred feeling. This is a self-deception and self-delusion. Only if people see their common radiant future identically, they have a chance to create a firm family and live in a lifelong marriage.